hello world | lonelythoughts's Blog

wahhhhh its been so long! sorry world! 

life has been crazy busy lately :( none of it good unfortunately. 
with a death in the family everything gets that little bit harder, the thought of never seeing them again, never hearing their laugh, never listening to their stories, never taking a photo with them, never watching tv with them, never having a meal with them, never chatting on the phone with them is something i am finding hard to come to terms with.

i was in her flat a few days after her death sorting some stuff out for the funeral and it was possibly one of the hardest things i have done. 

i found her glasses, an unfinished book, an unopened perfume, some half used make up, some of her favourite foods, some of the cooking in the fridge and more. i just cant believe she is gone. not here anymore. not alive.

will i ever get over this loss? :( 
you hear about people dying everyday yet it had never dawned on me how hard it is to accept it, to carry on with daily life for the sake of others and to not let grief and sadness consume one.