finally feel comfortable back where i am. i feel like i am back at home though i am not home.
i feel happier.
i still have trolls and my demons
they worry me
will they ever leave
why do i have them?
i hate them but i can control them better i think.
my mind is overloaded
i cant think right
always second guessing myself
always convincing myself something is going wrong
why why why
making each other smile
we had to make the decision to just be friends
we always see each other. we always run into each other. we always see each other.
now just friends. it sucks
i hate being insecure
why am i insecure?
see blog post 'it hurts'
me and him finally kissed
and it was pretty great
but now its awkard
i hate being the fat girl
i try so hard
never done IT
feel like a loser
life is really rubbish
i feel like such a loser
is it wrong that i havent done it???
so people insult you as a joke.
people who dont know you. people who think they know you.
it gets me down.
i dont even know why,
people are the worst.
sometimes, all of the time, i dont know.
its a sad sad place.
well what has life become.
i am drained
life is hard
dont know what is happening.
eurgh, i dont what to think anymore. people take me for granted. why dont people appreiate other people more. when you put yourself out on a limb. it just seems selfish. they care about those that mean least to them. its hard to get over really. the ones that are there for them through the hard and easy times just dont seem to get any recognition, any thanks, any sort of appreciation. what am i suppose to do? carry on being there for a person.
i need to tell him or get over it! the answer is pretty simple. dont know why i am being a whiny little b*tch haha!! eurghhhh
he just revealed everything! what an idiot haha but it all went down well.
i am so bad at keeping focused, procrastination is my forté oh dear oh dear!
i wanna kiss him so badly.
whatta tune! takes me right back to the time when nothing mattered to me, when i didnt have a care in the world, everything was perfect. the hardest part was fear of missing out on something. oh to be young and naive again, just one more time. alas, that time will never come again. i am glad i was blessed enough to enjoy it.
made up a language today
how sad. :| XD
it was average, the day dragged, i didnt enjoy it unfortunately, hopefully i will live long enough to experience another good day. i feel like im falling behind in the race for life. what is life, why are people racing for it? i wanna stroll through and enjoy the scenery. sad sad sad. its a mad world.
woahh and the day is done just like that!
now i fill my time and wait for tomorrow! how monotonous
how strange. music is my escape. any one else?
i dont like noise. i like music or silence.
anything else irritates me.
today i got soakkkkedddddddddddd in the rain!! EW EW it was so disgusting. everything smells of damp
hopefully tomorrow will be a little different! i highly doubt that.
positivity is key. posivity will make tomorrow better even if it is like today!
and today was a day just like any other.
it was a good day. a good regular day. these do not come around very often. i didnt do much, it wasnt very productive but it was good. just good. i like good. spent it with some of my favourtie people and it was good. what more can i ask for really? i hope another good day comes around soon, but not too soon.
i hope i dont run out of time for another good day like that boy who got hit by a speeding a car right infront of my eyes. never heard a more chilling sound. i felt hollow for that moment. then i drank to forget-what a cliché i am, but it worked. i forgot until i woke up. then it was shit again.
then today happened, a good day. dont wish away the time. i tend to wish away the time in the hope that the future will be better. but its not. not right now anyway.
its strange i dont know any of you in real life and none of you know me in real life either. we could have passed in each other in the street and we would never have even known. the fact that people that read this know what goes on inside my head from time to time is a very weird thought. i am glad that you guys dont know me though. i am glad.
and i cant help falling in love with you
i need to get a grip!
from reading my past few blog posts i sound like a crazy obssesed woman!
i promise i play it cool in real life guys haha
surrounded by people yet i feel so alone
this is so strange
i dont know what to think of it
maybe i should cherish this alone time and work on self improvement
but its a lonely world
i hate changes
it was a big change
and now im alone
college changed people. maybe there revealed their true self or maybe they felt the need to conform?
such a shame as some people i once knew have changed for the worst.
drunken behaviour seems to be encouraged and praised.
it appears to be more of a taboo if one isnt having casual sex at college/uni
how strange everything seems.
never thought i would find myself in this position - being in the minority.
but if i am happy then surely im doing something right?
why is he being so sly and inconsiderate about this whole situation!!! for fucks sake, its pissing me off. i cant say anything to him though as everyone is entitled to their own opinion but my God he is one cheeky little fucker!!!!
let people make their own minds up rather than lying to them and manipulating them into seeing your P.o.V! OMG OMG OMG i just want to throttle you sometimes....
lest i remain cool calm and collected. as per. i dont get it anymore
Previous PostsBack where i belong, posted January 9th, 2015
overload!!!, posted November 21st, 2014
only friends now?, posted November 20th, 2014
insecurities, posted November 4th, 2014
update, posted November 1st, 2014
i hate being the fat girl, posted October 31st, 2014
never done it, posted October 31st, 2014
insults no end., posted October 26th, 2014
rubbish day, rubbish week, rubbish life?, posted October 26th, 2014
over it, posted October 21st, 2014
it hurts, posted October 21st, 2014
steal my sunshine, posted October 20th, 2014
another day over, posted October 13th, 2014
today, posted October 10th, 2014
its all a bit weird, posted October 10th, 2014
(8), posted May 11th, 2014
haha oops!, posted February 16th, 2014
Surrounded by people, posted January 5th, 2014
hmmm people really do change., posted December 8th, 2013
PEOPLE ARE SO SLY, posted November 30th, 2013, 2 comments
oops now its awkward, posted October 26th, 2013, 2 comments
rant rant rant, posted September 9th, 2013, 2 comments
******* be bitchin', posted June 14th, 2013
confused, posted April 8th, 2013, 2 comments
sooo, posted March 7th, 2013
hello world, posted January 10th, 2013
its all beautiful, posted November 3rd, 2012
ohhh, posted October 16th, 2012
what to do?, posted October 8th, 2012
just a rant, posted September 24th, 2012
oh dear, posted September 1st, 2012
reaching my goals, posted August 8th, 2012
time for change, posted August 2nd, 2012
save me from me, posted July 31st, 2012
scars never disappear., posted July 25th, 2012, 2 comments
our reality is so fake, posted July 23rd, 2012
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